:: How Maxine Celebrates Christmas ::
Maxine Copyrighted @ Hallmark :: FaceBook
A. The letter "D".
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. Christmas Quacker
Q. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A. Claustrophobic.
Q.What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective ?
A. Santa Clues!
Q. What does Santa like to eat?
A. A jolly roll.
Q. What do you call Santa when he has no money?
A. Saint Nickel-less (Nicholas).
Q. What do elves learn in school?
A. The elf-abet (alphabet).
Q. How is the Christmas alphabet different from the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.
Q. How does Santa take pictures?
A. With his North Pole-aroid.
Q. What do the elves sing to Santa Claus on his birthday?
A. Freeze a jolly good fellow . . .
Q. Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A. Because it soots him.
Q. Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A. Because every buck is dear to him.
Q. Why did the Christmas cookie go to the doctor?
A. It was feeling crummy!
Q. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A. Claustrophobic.
Q. What is Santa's favorite breakfast cereal?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?
A. Silent Night.
Q. What goes OH, OH, OH?
A. Santa walking backwards!
Q. What's at the end of Christmas?
A. The letter S.
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Over The Big Moon has 30 Holiday Printable Jokes Happy Times!
Funny Office Holiday Memo
To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season.
Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).
1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)
3. Work requests are not to be filed under “Bah humbug.”
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma’s house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Eggnog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.
In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.
